While it may be simplistic to say that hurting people-hurt other people, anyone who has ever attempted to help a hurt or wounded animal knows there is some truth in the statement. You may be the one trying to bring healing, but you can expect to be bitten or at least, shall we say, growled at in warning. A person who is feeling overwhelmed and hurting on the inside is more likely to lash out even toward those who are attempting to help them. They expect to be able to drive you away with their anger. If, within the bounds of safety, you are able to endure their anger you may be able to earn their trust as well. Herein lies the problem, when we feel we have done nothing to deserve the anger or abuse being heaped upon us, we also feel a desire to retaliate or defend ourselves.
However, retaliation is not our responsibility. If we are following Christ, it is not our job to defend ourselves; it is His. Paul in writing to the Romans goes so far as to say NEVER avenge yourself. Romans 12:19(ESV)
19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”
And of course those most difficult words of Christ,
Matthew 5:39, But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.
Oswald Chambers offers some insight,
The teaching of the Sermon on the Mount is not- Do your duty, but – Do what is not your duty. It is not your duty to go the second mile, to turn the other cheek, but Jesus says if we are His disciples, we shall always do these things. There will be no spirit of –“Oh, well, I cannot do anymore; I have been so misrepresented and misunderstood”. Every time I insist upon my rights, I hurt the Son of God; whereas I can prevent Jesus being hurt if I take the blow myself. That is the meaning of filling up that which is behind of the afflictions of Christ. [1]
Can we look at
an angry person and see the hurt behind their expressions of frustration toward
us? Can we absorb their anger into the
grace of God within us, and prevent it from traveling on to someone else? After
all, if their hurt and anger were dumped on someone who was not able by the
grace of God to take the blow; that person will probably pass on the hurt by
hurting someone else.
[1] Chambers, Oswald. My utmost for His highest. Uhrichville: Barbour Publishing, 1963.