Tag: new year

Starting Over


For those of you who have followed this blog in the past, “Hello again.” Life has been quite hectic for the past few months, so I hadn’t been checking the blog very regularly. When I did- imagine my alarm to find that it had been removed. Apparently, I had missed a renewal payment and discovered that not only was it not functioning, but also that restoring it was not possible and the only real option was starting over. In order to return credibility to my name on internet searches, (it is alarming to find your name mentioned with warnings as a possible source of malicious internet activity) I’m trying to start over.

This whole process of starting over has gotten me thinking. It is a new year, and that would seem to be an appropriate time to begin again in many areas of my life. Sigh…but it’s not easy. Restarting the blog is easy by comparison even though I am technologically incompetent. Words like “adventurous, spontaneous, rash”, left my vocabulary as descriptions of myself with about the birth of my first child.

The greatest new beginning is our salvation, 2 Corinthians 9:7 “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” God is the only one who can give us a genuinely new start and even though we are forgiven and He is merciful, He doesn’t always choose to deliver us from the earthly consequences of our wrong choices whether they were sinful or not.

Here are some points I am trying to learn:

  1. Acknowledge what went wrong the first time. Something vital was ignored, neglected, destroyed by myself or in conjunction with someone else. Even if I was completely innocent, which is rarely the case, if it is no longer fixable it’s time to stop crying over it like Samuel did Saul- go anoint the new direction and start over (1 Samuel 16:1).
  2. The second is like unto the first. Letting go of failure-refusing, if God has forgiven me, to keep on flogging myself. (1 John 3:20)
  3. Forgiveness of others which includes letting God weed out the bitterness. God has to pull this one, I’m not strong enough.  Forgetting is not always possible but, when it all comes flooding back if God can enable me to see the other person through His eyes- I cannot help but feel compassion. How does God see that person?
  4. Moving forward into an unknown future with a renewed commitment to God that trusts Him enough to risk relationships even if that trust is violated. The older I get, the more I realize that in this sinful, fallen world -hurt is inevitable! Either I curl up and crawl away to hide, or I have to trust the NEVER-FAILING love of God, allow Him to deliver justice on my behalf, and trust that He WILL make ALL things work together for my good. If I cannot do that, I will withdraw and avoid people the rest of my life- cause they just mean sometimes! *
  5. I must admit- I cannot do it all! I don’t think that I ever really thought I could…I was just so busy trying to that I never stopped to admit it wasn’t working. I am not able to do every job at the church, be on call 24-7, be made-up, fixed up and show up for every need I encounter. It isn’t even a matter of compassion fatigue anymore, although I have been there, it is simply physical fatigue at this point. I have to sleep right, eat right, and know my limitations, or it (meaning me) is just going to hurt. Besides, since when was God only able to use me? If I do it all, others will never get a chance to step into the place God has for them. I don’t want Him to have to move me out of the way.
  6. Last but not least. If I am going to start over, I’m going to need somebody smarter than me. Not just the helpline tech guys I have been harassing for a week, poor things. The older I get, the more I realize how flawed I am. “I need someone older and wiser telling me what to do” now as much as I did when I was 16 and not listening anyway. But I also know that EVERY other human’s reasoning can be as convoluted as mine! It is only the wisdom from above that is “first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.” James 3:17. I want to listen to that voice!

Starting over can be a process that as my granddaughter says, “It takes 2-ever”. 2-ever or 4-ever, change is never easy. But I know that He who began the good work in me doesn’t have to start over because He has never stopped and He never will. (Philippians 1:6)

*Please do not stay in an abusive situation. You can work on forgiveness and learn to trust God much better from a safe place!

Steppin’ Out

Anyone else feel like the year 2016 has come in like a flood? That is why I am only now that it is almost February posting my first blog of the year. This week I am finally catching my breath. Within the last month family members have gone to college, moved out of the continental US, had major surgery, throw in a week of babysitting my little princesses in California and you have my month. Looking back at January, I would say that this month has been a trial of faith.  Believing that God would be faithful and come through for nearly every member of my immediate and extended family through some serious trials has been a challenge.  I am here to report- God is faithful!

Several times since the beginning of the year I have been reminded that faith often requires action on our part to reveal our belief.

Noah had to build an ark when he had never seen a flood.

Moses had to make proclamations before the Pharaoh about all the mighty works God was going to do- BEFORE God had done any.

He also had to stretch out his hand to part the sea, strike rocks for water and do a lot of other strange things simply believing God was going to do what He said He would do.

The one that keeps running through my head is Joshua and the people at the Jordan River.  God told Joshua the following:

Joshua 3:13 And when the soles of the feet of the priests bearing the ark of the Lord, the Lord of all the earth, shall rest in the waters of the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan shall be cut off from flowing, and the waters coming down from above shall stand in one heap.” 14 So when the people set out from their tents to pass over the Jordan with the priests bearing the ark of the covenant before the people, 15 and as soon as those bearing the ark had come as far as the Jordan, and the feet of the priests bearing the ark were dipped in the brink of the water (now the Jordan overflows all its banks throughout the time of harvest), 16 the waters coming down from above stood and rose up in a heap very far away, at Adam, the city that is beside Zarethan, and those flowing down toward the Sea of the Arabah, the Salt Sea, were completely cut off. And the people passed over opposite Jericho. 17 Now the priests bearing the ark of the covenant of the Lord stood firmly on dry ground in the midst of the Jordan, and all Israel was passing over on dry ground until all the nation finished passing over the Jordan.

I just keep thinking about those priests carrying the ark. God had not told them personally to stand in the river that was overflowing its banks. They were getting these instructions second-hand through Joshua, who frankly did not have the track record of the previous leader, Moses. Most of the actions of Moses had been taken at his own expense. He heard God; he did it, and he faced the consequences if it was not done properly. Now here is the new guy asking you to step in the flood waters carrying a heavy wooden box that if not handled properly would mean sudden divine destruction.  Holding the ark above water was going to require some fancy synchronized swimming if Joshua didn’t have the details right! I think I might prefer to carry the back of the box, not be the guy in front, just for today…

From this point on the actions of God through His people were going to require THEIR involvement. They were going to have to take the land. Their obedience was going to lead to defeat or victory. It was not going to be dependent on whether or not Moses held his hands up while they fought, but rather on whether Achan was stealing and lying within the camp. Joshua wasn’t going to walk up to the walls of Jericho and hit them with his stick to break rocks; the people were going to have to march around the city. No doubt they were getting stuff dumped on their heads; I doubt it was slushies.

The message I have been getting is to stop waiting for some spiritual leader to believe God for great things. It’s time to believe God for ourselves. 2016 is the year to pick up the poles of the ark and step out into the flood waters! Accept the risk of believing God to act as a result of our obedience. Know that the new territory God wants us to take this year may require overcoming opposition. However, remember Ephesians 2:10. “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

God has it all ready! Let’s show up and step out into the flood of 2016.