When I was younger, I assumed that most people would pretty much have it all together by the time they reached my current stage in life. Their career or ministry would be settled, and their habits and life would be proceeding in a somewhat normal, everyday fashion. I am not sure why that never seems to be the case with us. Perhaps God has to keep some of us off kilter throughout our lives so we will perpetually be seeking Him for direction. I am somewhat suspicious that He calls into ministry those strong-willed children that He knows He will need to keep on a tight leash. Just look at the trouble Saul/Paul was causing. Acts 8:3 “But Saul began to destroy the church. Going from house to house, he dragged off both men and women and put them in prison.” God had to call him into ministry so He could keep him from disturbing the spread of the gospel!
I guess it should be encouraging to me that Paul also sometimes struggled to discern the way God wanted him to go.
Acts 16:6, “Paul and his companions traveled throughout the region of Phrygia and Galatia, having been kept by the Holy Spirit from preaching the word in the province of Asia. 7 When they came to the border of Mysia, they tried to enter Bithynia, but the Spirit of Jesus would not allow them to.”
The problem was not that God was having trouble making up His mind where Paul needed to be. Rather God had to reign in Paul’s enthusiasm for where he wanted to take the gospel and get him to where God wanted him to be.
God knows the way we should go:
Job 23:10 But he knows the way that I take;
when he has tried me, I shall come out as gold
Psalm 1:6 for the LORD knows the way of the righteous
Psalm 142:3 When my spirit faints within me, you know my way!
Psalm 25:9 He leads the humble in
what is right,
and teaches the humble his way.
10 All the paths of the Lord are
steadfast love and faithfulness,
for those who keep his covenant and his testimonies.
I have had a song stuck in my head for days. It is The Long Defeat by Sara Groves. The chorus, in particular, speaks to me.
We walk a while we sit and rest,
We lay it on the altar
I won’t pretend to know what’s next
But what I have I’ve offered
And I pray for a vision
And a way I cannot see
It’s too heavy to carry
And impossible to leave
And I pray for inspiration
And a way I cannot see
It’s too heavy to carry
And impossible to leave
It’s too heavy to carry
And I will never leave
Ministry/any call of God is not something we can ever leave. I know there has to be a way that I cannot see.