Alone at Jordan

The first church where my husband served as a paid member of the staff was Grace Church in Jackson Mississippi. He started as the music member and ended up as the youth pastor. As usual, he was a bit of a troublemaker and began to bring in young people who were not “church” kids. In truth, this bothered some people since it was apparent that we did not always have control of the behavior of the group. One sweet older lady was different. Mrs. Mildred Hutchison had her hair in a bun and her skirts below her knees, but primarily her heart in the right place. She never tried to fix any of these unruly teenagers or even their unruly youth pastor. In fact, I do not ever remember her saying a critical word to us. She did ask for all their names. She asked about their families and lives.

Most importantly, she prayed for them all. Throughout the years, I have often heard my husband speak about her and the tremendous blessing it was to know that she prayed for all of us. Last Saturday she passed away at 90 years of age.

I confess I cried when her granddaughter posted a picture of a prayer list that they found in her Bible. There we were all our names and all those teens. How many times had she prayed over that list and saved us from disaster by the blanket of divine protection she wrapped around us? God only knows, and I am so humbled and grateful!

There is though with the passing of that praying generation, a sense of loss. Who will pray for us now?

Oswald Chambers offers the following admonition from the story of Elijah and Elisha in 2 Kings 2:

“It is not wrong to depend upon Elijah as long as God gives him to you, but remember the time will come when he will have to go; when he stands no more to you as your guide and leader, because God does not intend he should. You say- “I cannot do on without Elijah.” God says you must. Alone at your Jordan v. 14. Jordan is a type of the separation where there is no fellowship with anyone else, and where no one can take the responsibility for you. You have to put to the test now what you learned when you were with your Elijah. You have been to Jordan over and over again with Elijah, but now you are up against it alone. It is no use saying you cannot go; this experience has come, and you must go. If you want to know whether God is the God you have faith to believe Him to be, then go through your Jordan alone.”[i]

How many times throughout the years have we stood at a Jordan River in our lives, and watched the waters part without knowing that the prayers of a little woman in Mississippi were the Elijah cloak that struck the waters for us? Now it is our turn, and my heart cries out as Elisha’s did, “Let me inherit a double portion of your spirit!” As the old song said, let your mantle fall on me!

LET THY MANTLE FALL ON ME

1) Elijah was God’s prophet;

Elisha stood close by,

And ere the prophet left him,

He heard his servant cry:

CHORUS:

Let thy mantle fall on me!

Let thy mantle fall on me!

A double portion of Thy spirit,

Lord, Let thy mantle fall on me!

2) Then Elijah made the promise

That, if faithful he would be,

His petition would be granted,

And God’s glory he would see

3) As Elijah rose to heaven

In a chariot of fire,

He did not forget his servant,

Who expressed one strong desire.

4) In the Upper Room they waited —

“Twas the faithful Christian band –

And their prayer was heard and answered

Over in the gloryland.

5) That prayer of early Christians

Long ago and far away

Is the cry of all God’s children;

And He’s just the same today.

Floyd W. Hawkins

Now we have so much greater access to one another through social media. Has your friend list become your prayer list yet? Mine has! Please let me know how I can pray for you, you see, I found this shawl that looks a lot like the one Mrs. Hutchison used to wear…

[i] Chambers, Oswald. My utmost for His highest. Uhrichville: Barbour Publishing, 1963.

Broken Pieces

Have you ever come to the end of some portion of your life and looking back felt a sense of accomplishment that you had done well? A sort of Apostle Paul confession, “7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” 2 Timothy 4:7 (ESV)

Although, by the grace of God I have managed to finish one or two things in my life, it is almost never with a cry of victory. It is usually with a whimper and a sigh, with more gratitude for having managed to survive the experience than triumph. Frequently lately, I have been reminded of the following favorite devotional written by Amy Carmichael: John 6:10-12 NIV

10 Jesus said, “Have the people sit down.” There was plenty of grass in that place, and they sat down (about five thousand men were there). 11 Jesus then took the loaves, gave thanks, and distributed to those who were seated as much as they wanted. He did the same with the fish.

12 When they had all had enough to eat, he said to his disciples, “Gather the pieces that are left over. Let nothing be wasted.”

Have you ever felt at the end of the day that you had nothing to offer but ‘broken pieces’ of things?

“In the morning we put our day in the Lord’s hands. Then we began to do His work, but we were not able to do nearly as much as we had hoped. Interruptions came and broke up our plans, and the evening finds us a little disappointed. ‘I hoped to do so much, and I have done nothing worth bringing to Thee’—and that is how we feel. I have been finding new comfort in the two words, which are used by the four evangelists in telling the end of the story of the feeding of the Five Thousand. They speak of ‘broken pieces’ and the same words are used by two in telling of the later miracle. There was nothing left over but broken pieces, and yet of those fragments our Lord said, Gather them up that nothing be lost. Even so, our dear Lord cares for the broken pieces of our lives, the fragments of all we meant to do, the little that we have to gather up and offer, and He will use even these fragments. He will not let even the least of our little broken things be lost.” Amy Carmichael from Edges of His Ways

I am staring down at my bits and pieces, tonight, thinking that there is not much left of my pathetic little lunch I offered to the Lord. Still, I have more pieces than I did when I first gave it.

Father, please gather the broken pieces of my offering so that nothing (no one) will be lost.

When my son and his wife were running the Los Angeles marathon to raise money to dig wells in Africa, I spent a lot of time looking for inspirational quotes to pester them with while they trained. You know, on one of those apps that speak your likes and words to them while they run. I found a common theme running through the quotes:

Everyone who finishes a marathon is a winner whether they come in first or last! Anyone who undergoes the discipline to train, endures the weather, traffic, aches, pains, and stays with it all the way to the finish line has accomplished at least a victory over himself or herself. They have attempted what others avoided. They have finished something, even if it is with a whimper.

The winners say, “Not somehow, but triumphantly!”

I guess I am more in the category of “not triumphantly, but somehow”.

So how can I go forward? I have to believe-Lamentations 3:22-24 (ESV)

22 The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
    his mercies never come to an end;
23 they are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness.
24 “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,
    “therefore I will hope in him.”

Every morning I reach out for a larger portion of the Lord’s love and mercy, which He says, will never run low. Every morning there is a new supply. It is GRACE! Ravi Zacharias often quotes this poem although the original author is not known:

A New Start

He came to me with a quivering lip,

The lesson was done,

Have you a new sheet for me, dear teacher,

I’ve spoiled this one.

So I took his sheet all soiled and blotted

And gave him a new one, all unspotted

And into his tired heart I cried,

Do better now, my child.

I came to the Father with a trembling soul,

The day was done.

Have You a new day for me, Dear Master,

I’ve spoiled this one.

So He took my day all soiled and blotted

And He gave me a new one, all unspotted.

And into my weary heart He cried,

Do better now, My child.

—from an Elementary School Teacher

Mercy!

All week long as I have followed the events in Gaza, Iraq, and Syria, my heart has been calling out, “Lord have mercy!” As my country mourns the loss of a man known for his humor, and yes, his kindness; I have prayed God’s mercy for those I know who daily square off against the demon of depression and with great courage, choose life. As my sister and members of my church family endure the next round of chemo…God have mercy!
David prayed for mercy regarding his sins, which were many. Psalm 51:1 Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love, according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions.
Certainly, that is the first vital step to restoring our broken relationship to God, but that has not represented my heart’s cry this week. This description of the Kyrie Eleision (Lord have mercy) as understood from the Greek Orthodox tradition, comes closer to where my heart has been dwelling.
“The word mercy in English is the translation of the Greek word eleos. This word has the same ultimate root as the old Greek word for oil, or more precisely, olive oil; a substance which was used extensively as a soothing agent for bruises and minor wounds. The oil was poured onto the wound and gently massaged in, thus soothing, comforting and making whole the injured part. The Hebrew word, which is also translated as eleos and mercy, is hesed, and means steadfast love. The Greek words for ‘Lord, have mercy,’ are ‘Kyrie, eleison’ that is to say, ‘Lord, soothe me, comfort me, take away my pain, show me your steadfast love.’ Thus mercy does not refer so much to justice or acquittal a very Western interpretation but to the infinite loving-kindness of God, and his compassion for his suffering children!” (Kyrie Eleison to read more.)
Jesus loves the little children; we used to sing in Sunday school. ALL the children of the world! I firmly believe that every child who loses their life here on earth is instantly taken into the loving arms of the Father God.
Matthew 18:10 “See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that in heaven their angels always see the face of my Father who is in heaven.”
2 Samuel 12:23 “But now he is dead. Why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he will not return to me.”
Still those left behind with aching arms are in desperate need of that soothing oil of mercy. How can this mercy be poured out then in these remote places of the world and even to those in darkness around us who do not know of the Father God who loves them?
We who know the way, must go to the source of mercy: Hebrew 4:16 “Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”
We must be filled with mercy and grace like a treasure carried in a jar of clay: 2 Corinthians 4:7 “But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us.”
We then have a God-given responsibility to pour out that mercy to others: James 2, “8 If you really fulfill the royal law according to the Scripture, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself,” you are doing well… 12 So speak and so act as those who are to be judged under the law of liberty. 13 For judgment is without mercy to one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment.”
Practically speaking, I cannot go and rescue all the children in harm’s way around the world. I can pray however for mercy to be extended to them from whatever means God can use! I can start much closer to home giving mercy and not judgment to my family, neighbors, church community and especially to that person from another part of the world that God has brought to my doorstep so that He can love them through me.

Renewed

It seems like all week long that I have been receiving notification via social media that another one of our former classmates has become a grandparent. This news, along with the announcement that our eldest son and his wife are expecting their second child, (YES!) has caused my mind to contemplate both the new and the old. So many beautifully brand-new little faces, happy young parents, and beaming grandparents; new life is an overwhelming time of wonder and joy. However, the fact that these same GRANDPARENTS, my friends and former classmates, are the ones struggling with what affectionately appropriate name should they be called now that they have a grandchild, can be somewhat alarming. We don’t want to be old; we don’t feel old, but we have to face that fact; we are definitely not “new”!

Thinking along this line brought to mind the words of Paul in 2 Corinthians 4:16, “16 So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.”

Well, maybe we are not to the point where we are ready to admit to “wasting away”, but I really like the idea that whatever happens on the outside, inwardly we can be RE-newed every day.

I can have a brand new me inside day by day. Paul was not referring to the new-birth or salvation experience in that scripture. He was speaking to believers and even to those who were struggling with persecution and trouble all around them. So, in spite of whatever was happening outside they could be new within their own souls. But how? 

Two other scriptures give us more specific insight into this process of renewal.

Ephesians 4:22-24 describes it almost as if describing getting dressed.

“22 to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, 23 and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, 24 and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.”

Obviously there is some spiritual cognitive therapy happening because the renewal comes in the “spirit of your minds.”

How? Colossians 3:1-17 is one of the most detailed descriptions of our part in this renewal.

 Seek the things that are above by setting your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. Then just in case that is too theoretical, he brings it down to VERY practical, on the concrete, daily living.

“5 Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.”

“now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth.” “9 Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices”

Those are some strong phrases, but it is not all negative.  Change is difficult if behaviors and thinking patterns are just removed. Something will need to take the place of the negative and Paul has the answer again.

“12 Put on then …compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience,

13 bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.

14 And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.

15 And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.

16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.

 17 And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”

Out with the old- in with the new! This is not about a “works” based religion. Remember in both of the passages Paul is speaking to followers of Christ. Colossians 3:7 says, “7 In these you too once walked, when you were living in them. 8 But now you must put them all away”

One of the best statements I have heard all year is “Grace is not opposed to effort, but to earning.” Our salvation is the free gift of God, but if we want to be renewed every day then, we need to get busy and quit waiting for God to smite us with Christlikeness!

Put to death! Put away! Then…

Put on, bearing with, forgiving, love, be thankful!

Verse 16 is the pivotal point- stay in the WORD, surround yourself with good God music (apparently even Paul made allowance for differing music tastes, you got your psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs), and keep an attitude of gratitude.   

Finally do everything is Jesus name. In other words, if you cannot do whatever you are about to do, in a way that honors the name of Jesus, do not do it!

I want to be re-newed today, tomorrow, the next day. You will never know it to look on the outside of all of us grandmothers and grandfathers, but inside some of us will be getting “newer” every day!

I don’t need to worry about…

If there is an organization for chronic worriers, I probably need to be a card-carrying if not a founding member. Worriers anonymous …Hello, my name is Esther, and I worry about everything…all the time. Thankfully, the good God, who never gives up on me, loves me enough to keep working on me.

I recognize that my obsession with worry is a symptom of my lack of trust in God. If I really felt like He was big enough to handle my problems, and if I genuinely trusted Him with them, then I would not feel obligated to expend vast amounts of emotional energy in trying to figure things out myself. How futile and draining, my frantic attempts to come up with solutions and plans B’s truly are; compared to the peace that comes on those rare moments when I actually do completely, hands-off, trust God.

So scripturally speaking, below is a list of the things I do not need to be worried about…

My height, not a “big” one for me, but how long I will live is a bit more of a concern these days.

Matthew 6:27, “And who of you by worrying and being anxious can add one unit of measure to his stature or to the span of his life?”

Food, drink, clothing, so all the basic necessities of life…

Matthew 6:31 “Therefore do not worry and be anxious, saying, What are we going to have to eat? or, What are we going to have to drink? or, What are we going to have to wear?”

Uncertainties regarding the future

Matthew 6:34 “So do not worry or be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will have worries and anxieties of its own. Sufficient for each day is its own trouble.”

(When I get to tomorrow if I feel the need to worry, Jesus promises that there will be plenty to keep me occupied then as well. Oh great…)

Wicked, evil people, my own fear of slipping, 

Psalm 94

16 Who rises up for me against the wicked?
    Who stands up for me against evildoers?
17 If the Lord had not been my help,
    my soul would soon have lived in the land of silence.
18 When I thought, “My foot slips,”
    your steadfast love, O Lord, held me up.
19 When the cares of my heart are many,
    your consolations cheer my soul.

Worry and anxiety are indeed the cares of the heart, and they can weigh one down with a spirit of heaviness.

Proverbs 12:25 (ESV) “ Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad.”

So let me pass along some “good word” for my fellow members of Worriers Anonymous!

Philippians 4:4-7 – God’s steps to recovery for this condition.

“4 Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. 5 Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; 6 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

  1. Rejoice in the Lord, not sometimes, always! Hey, if we are still breathing, we can rejoice, if only for that.
  2. Be reasonable! Certain more pessimistic personalities tend to see eminent disaster in nearly any difficult situation. Ok, so I do have to tell myself regularly that it is probably not the end of the world.
  3. Remember the Lord is at hand! He has not abandoned my pathetic little ship. In fact, He may be so confident that everything is under control, that He is resting; maybe even napping in the middle of my apparent catastrophe! Matthew 8:24-26
  4. Do not be anxious about anything! No small print, nothing held back, no special cases or pet concerns that I refuse to bring to God because I do not want to bother Him.
  5. In everything! Nothing is too small or insignificant, or too large and overwhelming.
  6. By prayer and supplication! Sometimes we pray, and sometimes we need supplication (noun-the action of asking or begging for something earnestly or humbly), be persistent, keep on asking, keep on seeking, keep on asking. Work those faith muscles!
  7. With thanksgiving, keep a thankful heart! A spirit of gratitude is the opposite of a spirit of entitlement.
  8. Let your requests be made known to God! We need to bear one another’s burdens, but too often, we talk to everyone else about our concerns, except God! He does not mind. He tells us to talk to Him about it, even to make requests! 

I am trying consciously to ask myself when I realize I have slipped into worry mode, “Have I given this request to God?” If I have prayed about it, then I must say to myself, “Then I do not need to be worried about this!” Unclench my fists, unlock my gritted teeth, relax, breathe, and trust that the ALMIGHTY GOD of the UNIVERSE can handle whatever it is.

  • Let the peace of God guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Giving oneself permission to relax into the peace of God, may not be a problem for most people. However, for the chronic worry types, if we are not worrying, then we feel we are not doing our part, no matter how futile and pathetic it may be. As if, we cannot actively show that we love someone unless we worry over them. When in fact, the most loving thing we could do is bring their situation to God and trust Him so completely to care for them that we no longer have to fret. God’s peace is the only thing powerful enough to calm my heart and mind and to deliver me from worry and anxiety. 

I have …uh…many…years of bad habits to break in this regard, but I hope you will join me on the journey of actually practicing Philippians 4:4-7. Are you afraid that you cannot do this? Don’t worry about it- see #1 and continue… 

Help from Above

One of the most uplifting scriptures in the entire Bible is Psalm 121.
Psalm 121 (ESV)
121 I lift up my eyes to the hills.
From where does my help come?
2 My help comes from the Lord,
who made heaven and earth.
The writer is not actually looking for help to come from the hills. After all, what can rocks, minerals, and a few scrubby trees, do for us in our hour of need? He was saying that the very act of lifting his eyes to the majesty of a mountain range caused him to remember his help comes from the Creator of the jagged peaks. It caused him to look above and beyond the heights!
Colossians 3:1-2 says, “If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. 2 Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.”
Now and then, we need consciously to grab ourselves by the chin and tilt our heads to the sky and LOOK UP! Higher than our current chaos, our overwhelming trial, our deepest need, or even our sometimes-trivial existence, there are things that are above, namely Christ seated at the right hand of God.
Hebrews chapter four describes the wonder of that. “14 Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. 15 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. 16 Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”
Christ gives us access to the throne room of God where we can come to receive grace, mercy, yes please and lots of it, but also wisdom because eventually we will have to go out and deal with our situation.
James 1:5 is so encouraging, “5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” This is not just any ordinary wisdom.
James 3:17-18 “But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. 18 And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.”
That harvest of righteousness seems to be uniquely something from above as Isaiah points out in this beautifully poetic verse.
Isaiah 45:8 “Shower, O heavens, from above, and let the clouds rain down righteousness; let the earth open, that salvation and righteousness may bear fruit; let the earth cause them both to sprout; I the Lord have created it.”
LOOK UP! God has not only sent righteousness and salvation, but also so much more!
James 1:17 “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.”
The truly good and perfect gifts do not come with price tags and cannot be bought in stores
The privilege He gives us to participate in creation through giving life to our children.
Even those rare, through a glass darkly, glimpses He gives us of true love.
When we feel overwhelmed by flashes of joy, beauty, and wonder that inspire us to keep going, and to keep believing.
The greatest of all gifts He sent was the closer-than- a- brother, forever Friend who more than anything today would like you to look up to Him, and talk to Him. About…whatever…He understands you.

A Place to Stand

This has been one of those weeks. You know the kind, when everyone you truly care about seems suddenly to be faced with something overwhelming or difficult. My sister’s surgery and her continued battle to overcome cancer, my son’s sudden flare-up with his lifelong struggle against chronic allergies, our parents declining health, a loved one’s struggle with faith, a difficult pregnancy for another, as well as important decisions that have to be made in spite of personal exhaustion; it all brought to mind a phrase from an old hymn. “When all around my soul gives way.”

There is only one place for me to stand. No human rescuer has the answer when the storm comes.

  1. My hope is built on nothing less
    Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness;
    I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
    But wholly lean on Jesus’ name.
    • Refrain:
      On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
      All other ground is sinking sand,
      All other ground is sinking sand.

So often, when we are faced with an unexpected crisis our stress reactions, adrenaline, etc. take over and our ability even to perceive God in the midst of our situation is clouded. There is nothing to DO at that point. The answer is simply to rest and surrender on His grace. We do not deserve it, cannot earn it; we can only throw our anchor deeply into it and hold on tight!

2. When darkness veils His lovely face,
I rest on His unchanging grace;
In every high and stormy gale,
My anchor holds within the veil.

Instead of trying to figure out the plan of God, which we could not hope to comprehend with our limited understanding, now is the time to rest on the truths we believe. We can believe His oath that if we have confessed our sins- He has forgiven them. 1 John 1:9 “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

We can believe He covenant that He will never leave us or forsake us. Hebrews 13:5 “for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

His offering of Himself for us was enough. Romans 5:1-2 “Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him, we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God.”

He is our hope!

3. His oath, His covenant, His blood
Support me in the whelming flood;
When all around my soul gives way,
He then is all my hope and stay.

Ultimately, when it is all said and done we will stand before God, and our feeble efforts will not mean anything. The robe we wear will be the righteousness that He alone could give us. He is the only one who can make us faultless before God.

4. When He shall come with trumpet sound,
Oh, may I then in Him be found;
Dressed in His righteousness alone,
Faultless to stand before the throne.

So to all those I know who are struggling, brace yourself on the solid Rock, take your stand, watch all the rest of the non-essentials swirl around you and fall away.

On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand,
All other ground is sinking sand.

Matthew 7:24-25 24“Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. 25 And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock.”

Giants!

Sunday morning the pastor of the church we attend, Rev. Neville Tan made a statement that got me thinking, “Giants in our lives can blot out the image of God.” How often in my life that has been so true.

There are times even now when the giants in my life loom so large I feel dwarfed in their shadow, and it seems difficult to see beyond them to the face of the Father.

Circumstances can seem so complex to my feeble understanding that I forget He knows the plans He has for me. Jeremiah 29:11 “11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

He is also still in control. Psalm 103:19, “19 The Lord has established his throne in the heavens, and his kingdom rules over all.”

Sometimes the giant takes on the face of the opinion or the criticism of another person, which grows so large that I forget whose opinion really matters. Colossians 3:23 “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, 24 knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.”

 Please God forgive me, and bring healing to those I have wounded, when I have been the face that blocked someone from seeing You!

Hungry giants of need or want can grow so large that I forget the Fathers promise in Philippians 4:19, “And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.”

Decisions can become giants if I forget that even if I do not always choose well, God can somehow redeem even my stumbling by his grace. Romans 8:28 28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

Failures are monstrous giants because they cause me to see only myself, my faults, and not my Father’s good plan, which He alone is able to perfect. Philippians 1:6 “6 And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.”

The face of a giant can make us fearful because fear is the granddaddy of them all! However, living intimidated by this giant is not what God has provided, 2 Timothy 1:7, “7 for God gave us a spirit not of fear, but of power and love and self-control.”

What can we do when we find ourselves suddenly in the shadow of a huge threat? We can pick up those small number of weapons we know how to fight with…pebbles…our small store of pathetically learned scriptures… our few feebly sung praise songs… our weak and sometimes wavering mustard seeds of faith…

But we can take those few pebbles and turn to face our monster and shout in his face,

“Who are you to mock my God? I will take you down because my God is greater than whatever giant I face!”

We can start running at the thing we fear with all our might swinging and slinging our pebbles! Because it is not about the strength of our arm, it is about the perfect aim of a God who knows no giant can stand before His child who chooses to believe God is greater!

Down with the giants! (Please be assured, I am not referring to any particular US sport team…)

When I don’t know what I am doing…

Being an introverted person, I have often found myself in social situations where I felt out of my depth. However, I have also enjoyed playing parts in dramas, and amateur church theatre productions; so even if it the settings were uncomfortable I could usually fake it. Maybe the demands of living in another culture have made it too much of a constant challenge or I am just getting too old to keep up the fronts, but I seem to be failing at it miserably lately.

I find myself in more and more settings where I seem to fit like a square peg in the proverbial round hole.  For a person who chronically struggles with attempting to please people and live up to their expectations the result is that I feel perpetually like I am failing God and others. I just could not find my footing, my place to stand; my way to be that did not disappoint and aggravate those around me.

As I walk away for yet another social debacle, I find myself thinking of Christ’s words from the cross when He said, Luke 23:34 “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” If Christ could forgive those who were killing him because they thought they were disposing of another traitor; surely He can forgive me. I know I have not been what others expected me to be; I just did not know what to do!  Every attempt to fit the prescribed box has left me feeling frustrated, and others irritated. I could not figure out the role. In the process, I have let people down and tarnished my witness of the love of God. Can I be forgiven for not knowing what to do?

There are times in life when the way before us seems so confused that to move in any direction seems impossible. In these moments, I long for a Joshua encounter.

Joshua 5:13-15 (ESV)

13 When Joshua was by Jericho, he lifted up his eyes and looked, and behold, a man was standing before him with his drawn sword in his hand. And Joshua went to him and said to him, “Are you for us, or for our adversaries?” 14 And he said, “No; but I am the commander of the army of the Lord. Now I have come.” And Joshua fell on his face to the earth and worshiped and said to him, “What does my lord say to his servant?” 15 And the commander of the Lord’s army said to Joshua, “Take off your sandals from your feet, for the place where you are standing is holy.” And Joshua did so.

It has become irrelevant who is right or wrong, who is on what side; please God just show up and take over this battle.  My shoes are off, and my face is in the dust. I confess I do not know how to tear down these Jericho walls. Please forgive me, when I don’t know what I should be doing! 

So, I must trust, Romans 8:26, 26 Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. 27 And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.

Please Spirit of God; intercede according to what is the will of God for I don’t know what to do!

Take heart my friend, we’ll go together
This uncertain road that lies ahead
Our faithful God has always gone before us
And He will lead the way once again

Take heart my friend, we can walk together
And if our burdens become too great
We can hold up and help one another
In God’s love, in God’s grace

Take heart my friend, the Lord is with us
As He has been all the days of our lives
Our assurance every morning
Our defender in the night

If we should falter when trouble surrounds us
When the wind and the waves are wild and high
We will look away to Him who rules the waters
Who spoke His peace into the angry tide

He is our comfort, our sustainer
He is our help in time of need
And when we wander He is our shepherd
He who watches over us, never sleeps

Take heart my friend, the Lord is with us
As He has been all the days of our lives
Our assurance every morning
Our defender in the night

Take heart my friend, the Lord is with us
As He has been all the days of our lives
Our assurance every morning
Our defender in the night

By Fernando Ortega ©2011

Because I said so!

For the past three days, I have been attending a conference on Christian Counseling and Spiritual Direction. One of the speakers Rev. Dr. Siang-Yang Tan, made a comment that immediately reminded me of a comment another great thinker and former roommate of mine, Gwen Sweeny, had said recently in response to my last post Loves you the Most. 

Dr. Tan was commenting that it is often important to help people find meaning in their suffering. Recent studies have shown that those who rebound more quickly and even experience personal growth through suffering are those who could determine some purpose within the experience. That does not mean that God will answer all our “why” questions. Dr. Tan said the final answer to all Job’s questions was not an explanation. It was a creation-wide demonstration that Job’s mind was too small, too finite to be able to comprehend the answers even if were God to provide them. “Where were you?” when the I AM simply spoke and every molecule of the entire universe came into being! Dr. Tan compared it to the tried and true parental response to the “why”. Because I said so!

I immediately thought of Gwen’s comments,

“Because of my kids I understand my Father better. Why He allows and does the things He does. Because of my kids, I have become a better child to the Father. In that alone my kids have given me more then I could ever claim to have given to them. They have answered so many of the “why” questions of my youth. As a mom, I understand better the answer to the “why”. “Because I said so” does not sound empty and uncaring, but more- I do not have the capacity to understand and just need to trust in the love of a caring Father.”

Amen Gwen!

If only in the midst of our struggles, we could relax from our fevered thrashing in the Father’s arms (Like trying to hold a tired, fussy two-year old!) and just let Him hold us and carry us. Isaiah 30:15“For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel, “In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength”. But you were unwilling.” What can we learn from those moments when we have to slow down; we have to be still, or our hearts are broken open from having experienced loss or betrayal?

  1. We are not really in control of our lives, or our future. Heb. 2:8 “Now in putting everything in subjection to him, he left nothing outside his control.”
  2. We are not indispensible, irreplaceable; the world will keep spinning even if we are not running our little hearts out on the rat wheel of life. Ps. 103 15 As for man, his days are like grass; he flourishes like a flower of the field; 16 for the wind passes over it, and it is gone, and its place knows it no more.
  3. Faith is believing in the love of God as a constant in our lives especially when we do not see or feel him. 1 Peter 1:8-9, 8 Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, 9 obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls.
  4. Hearts that are hard, brittle with bitterness break more easily. Hearts surrounded by a rigid shell cannot give or receive love until the shell is broken through. Ezekiel 36:26 And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.
  5. The fellowship of His suffering is the place of experiencing the deepest most intimate moments of the love of God.
  6. What is most important in this world is not what we can gain, accomplish; it really is all about who you know…

Philippians 3:10 (Amplified) For my determined purpose is that I may know Him that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His Person more strongly and more clearly, and that I may in that same way come to know the power out-flowing from His resurrection, and that I may so share His sufferings as to be continually transformed in spirit into His likeness even to His death.

Yes Father, because you said so…Thanks Gwen and Dr. Tan!