Category: New year

2021- We’ve Got One Job

Here we are, facing a new year…but already, rather than feeling we are on the brink of a new and exciting future, most of us are dreading, even fearful, what this week or this year may bring. How can we find the courage to go forward into this year?

Paul wrote to the Philippians in 3:12-14 Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own- But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

 So, what does it mean to press on?

We are a family who loves stories, and so I thought of Tolkien’s Sam and Frodo struggling to the last ounce of their strength to get up the mountain.

“I’ll get there, if I leave everything but my bones behind,” said Sam. “And I’ll carry Mr. Frodo up myself, if it breaks my back and heart.”

That is pressing on!

Or little Reepicheep from C.S. Lewis Voyage of the Dawn Treader:

 “My own plans are made. While I can, I sail east in the Dawn Treader. When she fails me, I paddle east in my coracle. When she sinks, I shall swim east with my four paws. And when I can swim no longer, if I have not reached Aslan’s country, or shot over the edge of the world into some vast cataract, I shall sink with my nose to the sunrise.”

Even Lewis himself kept his eyes on the goal:

“The Christian says, ‘Creatures are not born with desires unless satisfaction for those desires exists…If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world. If none of my earthly pleasures satisfy it, that does not prove that the universe is a fraud. Probably earthly pleasures were never meant to satisfy it, but only to arouse it, to suggest the real thing…I must keep alive in myself the desire for my true country, which I shall not find till after death; I must never let it get snowed under or turned aside; I must make it the main object of life to press on to that country and to help others to do the same.”

The early church father Augustine expressed a similar sentiment:

“I look forward, not to what lies ahead of me in this life and will surely pass away, but to my eternal goal. I am intent upon this one purpose, not distracted by other aims, and with this goal in view, I press on, eager for the prize, God’s heavenly summons. Then I shall listen to the sound of Your praises and gaze at Your beauty ever-present, never future, never past. But now my years are but sighs. You, O Lord, are my only solace. You, my Father, are eternal. But I am divided between time gone by and time to come, and its course is a mystery to me. My thoughts, the intimate life of my soul, are torn this way and that in the havoc of change. And so it will be until I am purified and melted by the fire of Your love and fused into one with You.”

So how do we, in a world reeling from a pandemic, divided by politics, increasingly deceptive and violent-

“press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus,”

“make it the main object of life to press on to that country and to help others to do the same,”

(Stay) “intent upon this one purpose, not distracted by other aims, and with this goal in view, I press on, eager for the prize, God’s heavenly summons?”

There is only one way- Hebrews 12: 1-2, “Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.”

LOOKING TO JESUS!

Not to any human leader, cause, political party, ideology!

He is the ultimate example of pressing on- He endured through all the hate, hurt, pain, and even death until He WON and was seated at the right hand of God. He did not overcome by trying to overthrow- He overcame by laying down His life.

Our instructions for 2021 have not changed. Jesus said, “A new commandment I give to you that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.” John 13:34

1 John 3:16 By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers.

We have one job in this new year- to love like Jesus.

2020 – The Year of the Mirror

What a year this has been! This is even evidenced by the fact that after recovering my blog account, I have only managed to post two the entire year. I spent the lockdown in my garden, not at my computer -it was essential to my mental health. I realize some might equate this behavior with the ostrich sticking its head in the sand, but it was all too much. So here I am- a couple of hard freezes, and the garden is down for the winter, and I am back at the computer again.

What has been hardest this year is that each of the issues that have arisen has shoved a mirror in my face and forced me to confront deeply buried images of myself.

Racism, Politics, COVID-19, and the death of my Father have caused me to confront myself more than anyone else.

Where have I let racist attitudes, feelings of superiority, pride that I am not like that “other” person creep into my life? Am I too proud to even admit these attitudes are there? How do I love the African American grandparents with their tribe of little grand-boys who have to somehow raise them in a culture where the odds are stacked against them? Equally important, how do I love the most dedicated, honest, kindest lawman and his wife who fears daily for his safety when he goes out to do and be the best he can be for the public safety?

Politically- Can I still love people who are willing to let their version of politics come between us? How do I love people who will condemn my faith if my politics does not agree with theirs?

So many people have died this year, family and friends! I have had to face- not my fear of death but my anger and hatred of it! There is a reason why death is finally thrown into hell at the end of time- it is not our friend!

Revelations 20:14 “Then Death and Hades were thrown into the lake of fire.”

How can I protect the physically vulnerable people in my life from a deadly virus without being judgmental of those I feel would put them at risk? Is it even possible to adequately care for people and keep them at arms-length or 6 feet?

How do I say goodbye to someone I love but with whom I realize I have some unresolved issues? Especially since, given the progression of his disease, I would have had to talk to him ten years ago when I was too overwhelmed with parenting and making my own mistakes with my kids. What do you do with a hurt that was never intentional, but that happened?

So, I have seen my racism, pride, fear, hurt, anxiety, fear, failure- it has been glaringly revealed by the trauma of this year. I have heard the gentle rebukes of the Spirit as He touched the hurting or inflamed, tender places of my heart. It has been a painful year. I realize I still don’t know even the depths of my own heart…

1 Corinthians 13:12 For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known. NKJV

 There is also a danger in thinking that becoming aware of all these issues is enough. I acknowledge them, so now I’m done. I believe God expects me to do more than that…

James 1:23-24 For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror.  For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like.

There is only one way to face this new year without despair, and that is to fix my eyes on Jesus and allow Him complete access to all the ugly parts of me. Only He is capable of transforming me until I look and act like Him!

2 Corinthians 3:18 But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord. NKJV

“We are mirrors whose brightness, if we are bright, is wholly derived from the sun that shines upon us.” C.S. Lewis

Looking forward to this next year, I thought of this song by one of my favorite artists Sara Groves.

You are the sun shining down on everyone
Light of the world giving light to everything I see
Beauty so brilliant I can hardly take it in
And everywhere you are is warmth and light

And I am the moon with no light of my own
Still you have made me to shine
And as I glow in this cold dark night
I know I can’t be a light unless I turn my face to you

You are the sun shining down on everyone
Light of the world giving light to everything I see
Beauty so brilliant I can hardly take it in
And everywhere you are is warmth and light

And I am the moon with no light of my own
Still you have made me to shine
And as I glow in this cold dark night
I know I can’t be a light unless I turn my face to you

Shine on me with your light
Without you I a­m a cold dark stone
Shine on me I have no light of my own
You are the sun, you are the sun, you are the sun
And I am the moon

Starting Over


For those of you who have followed this blog in the past, “Hello again.” Life has been quite hectic for the past few months, so I hadn’t been checking the blog very regularly. When I did- imagine my alarm to find that it had been removed. Apparently, I had missed a renewal payment and discovered that not only was it not functioning, but also that restoring it was not possible and the only real option was starting over. In order to return credibility to my name on internet searches, (it is alarming to find your name mentioned with warnings as a possible source of malicious internet activity) I’m trying to start over.

This whole process of starting over has gotten me thinking. It is a new year, and that would seem to be an appropriate time to begin again in many areas of my life. Sigh…but it’s not easy. Restarting the blog is easy by comparison even though I am technologically incompetent. Words like “adventurous, spontaneous, rash”, left my vocabulary as descriptions of myself with about the birth of my first child.

The greatest new beginning is our salvation, 2 Corinthians 9:7 “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” God is the only one who can give us a genuinely new start and even though we are forgiven and He is merciful, He doesn’t always choose to deliver us from the earthly consequences of our wrong choices whether they were sinful or not.

Here are some points I am trying to learn:

  1. Acknowledge what went wrong the first time. Something vital was ignored, neglected, destroyed by myself or in conjunction with someone else. Even if I was completely innocent, which is rarely the case, if it is no longer fixable it’s time to stop crying over it like Samuel did Saul- go anoint the new direction and start over (1 Samuel 16:1).
  2. The second is like unto the first. Letting go of failure-refusing, if God has forgiven me, to keep on flogging myself. (1 John 3:20)
  3. Forgiveness of others which includes letting God weed out the bitterness. God has to pull this one, I’m not strong enough.  Forgetting is not always possible but, when it all comes flooding back if God can enable me to see the other person through His eyes- I cannot help but feel compassion. How does God see that person?
  4. Moving forward into an unknown future with a renewed commitment to God that trusts Him enough to risk relationships even if that trust is violated. The older I get, the more I realize that in this sinful, fallen world -hurt is inevitable! Either I curl up and crawl away to hide, or I have to trust the NEVER-FAILING love of God, allow Him to deliver justice on my behalf, and trust that He WILL make ALL things work together for my good. If I cannot do that, I will withdraw and avoid people the rest of my life- cause they just mean sometimes! *
  5. I must admit- I cannot do it all! I don’t think that I ever really thought I could…I was just so busy trying to that I never stopped to admit it wasn’t working. I am not able to do every job at the church, be on call 24-7, be made-up, fixed up and show up for every need I encounter. It isn’t even a matter of compassion fatigue anymore, although I have been there, it is simply physical fatigue at this point. I have to sleep right, eat right, and know my limitations, or it (meaning me) is just going to hurt. Besides, since when was God only able to use me? If I do it all, others will never get a chance to step into the place God has for them. I don’t want Him to have to move me out of the way.
  6. Last but not least. If I am going to start over, I’m going to need somebody smarter than me. Not just the helpline tech guys I have been harassing for a week, poor things. The older I get, the more I realize how flawed I am. “I need someone older and wiser telling me what to do” now as much as I did when I was 16 and not listening anyway. But I also know that EVERY other human’s reasoning can be as convoluted as mine! It is only the wisdom from above that is “first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.” James 3:17. I want to listen to that voice!

Starting over can be a process that as my granddaughter says, “It takes 2-ever”. 2-ever or 4-ever, change is never easy. But I know that He who began the good work in me doesn’t have to start over because He has never stopped and He never will. (Philippians 1:6)

*Please do not stay in an abusive situation. You can work on forgiveness and learn to trust God much better from a safe place!