So much is mixed up in Lent this year, in my heart and mind. Literally in my heart with various rounds of heart testing. The continuing trauma and heartbreak of Ukraine. The anxiety of Covid, inflation, gas prices, etc. All of the above and family concerns have made it difficult to focus on the passion of Christ.
But it’s more than that.
I hadn’t realized how much more until a recent conversation arrested my attention. I was speaking with an expert in the field of early childhood education. She was volunteering in her church in the preschool department. She was appalled when she was given a coloring sheet for the children that was a close-up of Jesus’ face with the crown of thorns and blood dripping. This is what we consider age-appropriate exposure to the gospel message for preschoolers? Someone being tortured! Even Christ on the cross…I mean, would I want them to see the pictures of torture and murder that are coming out of Ukraine? Wouldn’t I want to shelter them from that if I was a good parent or educator?
I realize many children watch movies, cartoons, and games that contain violence and murder. However, on some level, they know or should know that those things are not real. I wonder if Christian children’s early, constant exposure to images of Christ’s death has not done the same. I know my breath doesn’t catch, tears don’t come to my eyes, my stomach doesn’t clench in horror when I look at a crucifix the same way it does when I see the images of the bodies lying in the streets of Ukraine and hear the stories of inhuman atrocities. Why?
Because I have been desensitized. I have been exposed from birth to the coloring pages depicting the horrible, torturous death of Christ as just pictures in a story.
I am not claiming to know how we should change the narrative and the exposure of children in order to present Christ’s sacrifice in a meaningful way that does not lead either to traumatizing or desensitization to the horror. But I wish I had the answer. Somehow, we MUST find a way! It just seems that by the time our Christian kids leave home as young adults, it is no longer REAL to them.
Furthermore, is it still REAL to me? Even the best dramatic, cinematic presentations can feel like what they are- just a movie.
But reality hits hard with Ukraine.
When I feel the horror of the naked bodies of women raped- do I remember that Christ was stripped naked on the cross?
When my stomach turns at the signs of torture on the bodies of the Ukrainian dead- do I remember that is what the crown of thorns, the flogging, the beatings that Christ endured were torture?
When I cry, listening to the sobs of the grieving mother as she tells of her only son who was shot in the street- do I see Christ’s mother Mary prostrate with grief at the foot of the cross?
When I hear the calls, see the messages, asking for prayers for the missing, the lost- do I catch the anxiety of Mary in the garden, “They have taken away my Lord, and I don’t know where he is!”
As I beg God for mercy and peace for the country of Ukraine- can I imagine, do I really believe there can be a resurrection? Or am I a disciple who wants to run and hide in a locked room?
The wide-awake nightmare of Ukraine’s suffering is REAL. The passion of Christ is REAL.
The only hope is in the God of Easter, of resurrection! Only through knowing Him can we find meaning in it all.
Philippians 3: 10 “that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead.”
That is my prayer for Ukraine. That you may know Him in the power of His resurrection. You have shared in His suffering, become like Him in His death- may you now attain a resurrection from the dead.
I didn’t give up anything for lent this year. I just determined that I would not turn away from what was happening in Ukraine. Instead, I would stay with those I could find where I had some connection. To pray- to hold up their hands as the battle raged around them. To let them know they were not alone when they were crying out.
I didn’t expect it to hit me with the reality of Christ’s passion. We have a story to tell- not a cartoonish coloring page story, a REAL story of horror and death…for LOVE! God, please help us find a way to communicate that reality without desensitizing ourselves or our children!